Ich Tarzan, du Jane.

I made it to Munich safe and sound. Actually, a suburb of Munich where I’m staying with a friend of my German tudor’s uncle. In any other profession, you’d think that weird, but as a wanna-be opera singer I’ve stayed at quite a few strangers, I mean patron’s houses and know how to be the best “leave no trace behind” houseguest. The catch? My host doesn’t speak english. Not. One. Word. She also speaks with a thick bavarian accent, more of a dialect really. Yep. So I really only understand about 1/2 of what she actually says and just assume the rest. She’s really nice and even made dinner for me my first night, which also meant that I had to come up with polite table conversation....in german. It did mean that I got to use all those seemingly useless phrases you learn when in any language class: My name is Donata. I come from the USA. I have one brother. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you have any children? This tastes good. You are a good cook. Thank you for your hospitality. When things got more complicated, it reminded me of a scene from David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day. An excellent book about his attempt to learn French while in France. He recounts how, despite his best efforts, he is only able to speak like a caveman. I feel the same way. The only way I survived dinner was through pantomime and sound effects. One conversation went something like this:

Host: So what do you usually eat for breakfast?

Me: (at least what I think I said): I like fruits & scrambled eggs. But something is ok.

Host: (long blank stare) I usually eat bread and cheese. 

Me: Yes. That is ok. 

Host: Well, I have to meet my sister to run some errands tomorrow but tomorrow morning I can take you to the supper market. There’s one close by, but its not the good one. What time to you usually get up in the morning? 

Me: (long pause) Perhaps 8 or 9 o’clock. 

Host: Ok. then tomorrow morning around 9 garble garble garble fast bavarian slang. (she picks up the clock that reads 19:23, puts her thumb over the 1) garble garble garble fast bavarian slang.

Me: Good Good. I understand. Excuse me, I am very tired from my journey. Goodnight. 

Host: Good night, sleep tight bla bla bla bavarian, bavarian, bavarian. 

She’s really nice, but I find myself dreading having to make small talk, since its usually at the end of the day or early in the morning (when the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone, let alone in another language). So many awkward pauses! 

Munich is beautiful, Mariannenplatz when the bells all sound is just magical, and there's lots of theater going on. The other night I saw my first “German” production of something. I saw Smetana’s Der Verkaute Braut. Everything was normal and fine...until the second act, where out of nowhere A man walked out dressed as a circus ring master, with a boom box on his shoulder, pulled out a microphone and started to Rap. Yep. That’s what I want in my opera, more rapping. But wait, it got weirder! Dancers came out....and started to breakdance, around a ballerina in a red tutu. Yep, then the orchestra came back in....accompanied by a tap dancer.....but wait, theres more! Then someone dressed as Elvis with a bear mask on and an electric guitar came out and STARTED TO PLAY ALONG WITH THE ORCHESTRA. Yep, I’ve always thought that classical music would be better when ACCOMPANIED BY AN ELECTRIC GUITAR. It was the stuff of nightmares. 

I did have a chance to be a bit of a tourist, and took a little trip to Neuschwanstein (say THAT 5 times fast), the Hofbräuhaus, then the REAL place the locals go to drink, sing, and dance. What a trip! Good things happen from wandering the streets. On the second floor of a restaurant was a crowded little space with an accordion player, a waiter wearing lederhosen and a bunch of drunk germans, arm in arm, swaying side to side and singing along. It was like walking through the looking glass into another world. Thankfully I speak enough german to talk to the locals and ask questions like: So, do you guys REALY wear lederhosen, or is it just a joke on tourists. Apparently, they are fine, hand made and quite expensive. Who knew? I also learned some interesting Bavarian slang. Quite an adventure. 

In business news: I had a chance to work with a really talented coach at the Staatsoper here, and was able to book another audition by phoning and proving that I speak German. I still can’t believe that worked! I'm gearing up for next week: 4 auditions, 4 cities, 3 days. Here we go!!